


Not meant to be

by ZessOnATeaCloud



Series: Meant to be? [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Archangel Gabriel (Supernatural), Emotional Hurt, Falling In Love, Fate & Destiny, Law Student Sam Winchester, Longing, Love Confessions, M/M, New Relationship, POV Gabriel (Supernatural), Revelations, Sadness, Stanford Era, happiness, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 05:15:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15923612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZessOnATeaCloud/pseuds/ZessOnATeaCloud
Summary: Gabriel is the happiest he has been in along time and then he learns who his beloved really is.





	Not meant to be

**Author's Note:**

> This has been with me for a while and it might be a bit of a tear jerker.  
> Not beta-read.

„Stay put Samsquatch. I'm in charge of breakfast. Best chocolate chip pancakes you've ever had! After last night you earned them“ Gabriel said while putting on Sam's giant 'STANFORD UNIVERSITY' hoodie.  
It was way too big on him and one could almost call it a dress, but it was warm, comfy and most importantly it smelled like Sam.

The last two weeks where among the best he had ever experienced. He was close to call them heavenly and with his point of refence that should mean something. Thinking about it again, this was probably even better than heaven had been back before all things went to hell... literally.  
But some things were just beyond any comparison and heaven belonged in that category, Sam as well.

He snapped the ingredients into existence and started making the batter. Even when running into the damned corner of the small table he did not loose his doopey smile. The smile of someone who is obviously in love.  
Since that one faithful evening when he was looking forward to drowning his sorrow in a few gallons of hot chocolate and pastries in that small coffee shop near Stanford Campus he had not lost that smile. Not since the night he met Sam.

In his old days he had fallen in love again, who would have thought that. Gabriel himself definitely not.  
Of course two weeks was way too early to even think the word love, at least in human minds but for him it was clear. His heart started beating faster when he just took a look at Sam's handsome face and his stomach was full with metaphorical butterflies when he was near him.  
It almost felt as if he grace started bubbling, like a pot of syrup on a hot stove. His grace flickered happily, loaded with the positive energy of their blossoming relationship.  
Sam was the one. Sam belong to him just like he belonged to Sam. He had never felt like this before, Gabriel realized while dropping chocolate chips into the batter in the pan. It was utterly right.  
Officially they weren't even together, at least no one had ever used the term boyfriend, partner or anything else along that line, but unofficially that did not matter one bit.

Gabriel hummed the melody of an enochian song and pressed the power button on the coffee maker.  
Something he had learned really quickly, Sam and coffee went hand in hand. No matter if he was studying for an exam late at night or if he was getting ready for a lecture early in the morning, where Sam was there surely was a big cup of coffee.

 

Some day Sam would make a great lawyer, he had such a strong sense and want for justice, the need to help others. It was adorable and cute when Sam got exited about a certain topic, talked, discussed and argued or simply explained, Gabriel could watch him with that passion in his eyes for hours, even when he did not understand half of what was said.  
Sam's eagerness and joy was almost palpable. For Gabriel it was fascinating.

Apart from that, Sam would look finger-lickingly good in a tailored suit. The jury would not now where to look first.

The eight pancake made it's way on the growing stack, charmed to stay warm and Gabriel imagined him and Sam at a dinner party. Sam handing out his business cards and Gabriel looking pretty at his arm, making conversation with the crowd.

“You're in a good mood” a deep sleepy rumble behind Gabriel said and in the next moment Sam wrapped his long arms around him, pulling him to the strong chest. Sam rested his chin on Gabriel's shoulder and was content in watching him finish their breakfast.

Gabriel closed his eyes for a moment, laid back against Sam and turned around just enough to give him a good-morning-kiss.  
“You know the idea of breakfast in bed is that you actually have breakfast in bed!? Mind blowing concept I know” the angel teased.

Sam laughed and Gabriel could feel the vibration's through his whole body. Now his grace was flickering again, like a flame and a bit like warm electricity.  
At ease and simple like the flame of a candle yet as powerful as a forest fire or a tesla coil.

“You were taking too long” Sam teased him and started kissing down Gabriel's neck.  
“Stop distracting me and I would be much faster” Gabriel joked right back and let the last pancake slid onto the stack.  
“Well, in that case I will get the mail and you set the table.”

When Sam came back and saw Gabriel already halfway through his first pancake he laid the mail on the table, to the side and started eating as well.  
“It smell's delicious” he took a bite and moaned, eyes fluttering shut “and tastes even better than it smells. Gabe you're unmatched when it comes to sweet stuff” Sam smiled but Gabriel did not see it, he barely heard what Sam said.

In shock he stared at the mail Sam had brought with him. Gabriel felt the color leaving his face.  
“Gabe? Are you alright?” Sam asked concerned but Gabriel was not able to answer.  
His muscles cramped, the fork in his hand bend into a shapeless peace of junk while his breathing simply stopped, not that he needed to breath in the first place.  
Gabriel's brain was working double time, trying to process what he was seeing, trying to make sense of the combination of letters, his stomach knotted itself tightly together.  
His grace felt like a frozen bolt of lightning, he knew if he had not been an angle this would be a full blown panic attack.

“Gab-”  
“Sam, what's your last name?” even to his own ears his voice sounded strained and frightened. Not to mention the absurdity of that question in general.  
If the reason for this would not have been as horrible as it was maybe he would've been as shocked as Sam looked right now.  
“Winchester” and that was all it took for Gabriel's heart to shatter.

That was the confirmation that his brain had been right, no mistake, no joke just a punch in the face, a kick in his stomach and a knife in his heart. His sight blurring more and more.  
Dad, please... no, he thought and was unable to stop himself. Please let this be a dream, this could not be reality, let it be a sick joke, anything but reality.

Within the fracture of a second everything was gone, broken.  
Sam was no longer his. Sam was no longer his kindhearted smart giant. Sam was no longer his place to come to, the one to lean on, no longer his partner in heated discussions. Sam no longer was his attentive and alert student.  
Sam was no longer his, he never had been.

Gabriel's eyes swam in tears, seconds away from over flowing and then he felt Sam's big, warm hand closing around his own. He felt Sam's thumb slowly rub circles into the back of his hand, trying to soothe him.  
Sam was worried and shocked, maybe even afraid because he had no clue what had caused Gabriel's behaviour. Until now Sam had only seen him as a happy, joking guy, had seen him in throws of lust and passion, had seen him angry and annoyed but never like this. So of course was he worried about his boyfriend.

But Sam no longer was his boyfriend. He was Lucifer's vessel.  
The face with which his big brother planned to destroy the world. That thought was so absurd.  
Sam was one of the kindest person Gabriel had ever met, he had passion, a strong mind and the will to fight but he fought for what was good. It could not be true, he could not be Lucifer's vessel.  
Gabriel would have to stand by and watch his big brother – whom he still loved, no matter what he had done – tear apart his true love form the inside out and do unspeakable things to him.

Sam would fight. Gabriel was sure of that. Sam and Lucifer where too different. Simply thinking about the hard, cold gaze of his brother coming from Sam's warm eyes was enough to break his heart even more.  
But he knew Lucifer only too well, he knew his brother would not stop at nothing to get Sam.

Suppressing his tears as best as he could Gabriel forced a smile onto his face. It was not pretty, cramped and suffering but it was honest.  
Taking deep breaths he managed to calm himself at least to the point where his muscles did no longer cramped up.  
Still not speaking a word he got up, rounded the table and wrapped Sam up in his arms, giving him a strong hug and burying his face in Sam's strong chest for one last time inhaling his unique scent so that he would never forget it.

Sam hugged him back without hesitation. He rubbed Gabriel's back in a soothing gesture and laid his cheek on Gabriel's blond hair.  
Sam was so sweet, insecure and with no idea what was happening he still tried to comfort him without thinking twice about it.  
Something final hung between them like a bad smell and Sam could probably feel it. He had a good instinct when it came to emotions.

The inevitable could no longer be put off and Gabriel pulled away from Sam, just few inches so he could look him into the eyes.  
Beside them he let his plate disappear, his clothes from the day before vanished from the bedroom and he took Sam's beautiful face into his hands.  
“Sam...” he was unable to say anything else. He wanted so bad to say it, wanted Sam to understand what he meant to him, but he could not bring the words to pass his lips. 

Sam's eyes started to light up and that was the final nail to Gabriel's coffin. It was brutal, horrible, beautiful. He did not need to say more. Sam understood, every unsaid word.

Gabriel leaned in and kissed Sam for the very last time and tried to put all of his feelings into this final kiss.  
Every bit of his happiness, his sadness, his hopelessness, his determination, his euphoria, his sorrow, his anger, his frustration, his love. Everything he was.

While kissing Sam Gabriel laid his hand against the side of Sam's face and put the tips of his finger to his temple. His grace flowed into Sam's thoughts and memories.

When his tears could no longer be contained he disappeared and every trace of him disappeared out of Sam's life.


End file.
